Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So much Jack, so little girl.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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