Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
