I don't usually arrange sex via text message
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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