so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
There's always time for handjobs
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
