I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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