You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
