I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
They have beer where we have blood.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
