these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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