Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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