he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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