Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
