We need to start having sex underwater more often.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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