if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
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I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
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Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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