she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
