I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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