There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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