Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize