Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
