Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
