she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
