i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
