They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize