Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
