I need help removing her.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
