i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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