Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
