I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
