And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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