YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
