guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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