home. puking in laundry basket.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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