Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
