I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
