butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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