Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize