Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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