I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
