She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
