Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize