I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
