yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
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Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
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I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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