dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize