god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
