I must be too annoying 4 u.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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