tell your sister to shave her snatch
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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