Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
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We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
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It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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