OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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