real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
