I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
