I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
