I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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