When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
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i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
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Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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