As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
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I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
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Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
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