It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
