honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
