New invention idea: vibrating tampons
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
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First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
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The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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