He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
