im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
