wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
