While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
