when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
