Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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