Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
