i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
