Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Randomize
