That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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