Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
