I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
