he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
