Whod you bang
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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