singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
